In honor of my no longer working at Gameworks (and because I keep on finding random things as I'm packing), I'm typing up a list I made while bored and working of some of the stupid questions I got that day along with the answers I wish I could've given them (and the answers I actually gave)

Question: "Did you get rid of Sky Pirates?"
Answer I wanted to give: "No, we just hid the two story tall, 30 foot wide hunk of metal because we fancied a game of hide and seek".
Answer I gave: "Yep, it's gone now, that's why that huge space it was in is empty now"

Question: "Do you work here?"
Answer I wanted to give: "No, I'm wearing this uniform, Gameworks nametag, and radio, (and standing behind this desk) as part of a covert operation for the CIA."
Answer I gave: "Yes, I certainly do."

Question: "Do you have a bathroom?"
Answer I wanted to give: "No, we're the only restaurant/bar in town that doesn't have a bathroom, isn't that neat?"
Answer I give: "Yes, we do"

Question: "Can you give me one card free? Since I'm buying two."
Answer I wanted to give: "Yes, we are so overwhelmed by your purchase of two ten dollar cards that we will not only give you a free card, we are re-naming Gameworks in your honor"
Answer I gave: "um, no."

Question: "Do you have a bar?"
Answer: "Yes"
Question 2: "Is there alcohol there?"
Answer I wanted to give: "Absolutely not! Gameworks does not support that blasphemous substance! Go get your devil juice elsewhere!"
Answer I gave: *blank stare*

Question: "Hi, can you explain how this all works?" *cutting in front of a long line*
Answer: "Sure if you wait in line"
Question 2: "I have to wait in line"
Answer I wanted to give: "no, those people are standing there as part of our new and exciting 'wait for a cashier' attraction, it's a lot of fun, you should probably join them"
Answer I gave: "You sure do"

Question: "Do you have any deals?"
Answer: "Yeah, our thirty-five dollar card is our only special, it gets you ten dollars for free."
Question 2: "What about twenty? Is there a deal for twenty?"
Answer I wanted to give: "Of course there is! Thank God you weren't mislead by my saying that $35 is our only special! Now I can tell you about the best deal EVER! Because you asked, $20 gets you unlimited for life!"
Answer I gave: "No, thirty-five is our only special"
(which they followed up with "so, what about $25?")

Question: "Do you do refunds?"
Answer: "no"
Question 2: "Oh, well can I sell my card back to you then?"
Answer I wanted to give: "Why yes! As a Gameworks crew member who gets discounted gameplay and is constantly given gamecards for free, it has always been my deepest desire to pay some combative asshole for his card."
Answer I gave: "no."

I'm also holding another stock use contest [link]